Now, we’ve all read the articles about knowing when you’ve met “the one,” but what about the articles that address knowing when you’re with “the one” that might walk out the door? It’s easy to know when you’re in a happy and healthy relationship, but it gets trickier when things aren’t necessarily in the honeymoon stage anymore. There are going to be joyful times in your relationship, but there will also be times of turmoil and moments that make you want to scream at the top of your lungs. At the end of the day, you need to have a partner who is willing to work through the good, but more importantly through the bad.
This article is not supposed to make you worried that your partner is going to leave you as fast as your dog seeing a cat a block away. Don’t walk on eggshells because you’re afraid your partner is soon to be walking out the door. These signs are merely supposed to make you think about your relationship and realize if your significant other has hit the end of his or her road. If that’s the case, it’s better to be aware, rather than in denial. Denial can only last for so long. And honestly, it wastes both of your time.
So if these signs below are happening in your partnership, it might be time to reconnect with your lover, or reconsider the relationship altogether.
1. They avoid you
Sometimes it’s hard for people to make the final decision to break up. Through this inner-conflict, it’s likely he or she could be avoiding you. This could have many looks: avoiding spending time with you, avoiding serious conversations, avoiding bringing up general unhappiness in the relationship. If you feel as if your partner is avoiding you for some reason, it’s crucial you bring this behavior to their attention.
2. They won’t talk about the future anymore
If your significant other used to always talk about how he/she can’t wait to marry you, move in with you, and/or have children with you and now these topics are avoided like the plague, all signs point to a dead end. It’s okay for your partner to not be ready for these big steps in a relationship, but if these discussions used to happen and now your partner remains silent, the silence says it all.
3. They put their friends first
Date nights have turned into your boyfriend/girlfriend going out with just his/her friends night. And that background picture on his or her phone of you two, is now that group photo from that one Las Vegas trip. It’s important to maintain friendships and keep them strong while being in a relationship, but it could also be a sign, if the friends are constantly being put first.
4. They make zero effort
When a relationship is important to you, you put in the effort. If there’s a fight, you make the effort to make up and resolve it. If you care about your partner, you make the effort to show them your love and affection. If you notice zero effort being made on his or her part, that’s a sign. If he or she didn’t do anything for you on your birthday or anniversary, or if they decided to skip the family function that was super important to you, these are all red flags. So when you notice there is zero effort being put forth by your partner, it might be time to take out that magnifying glass and take a good hard look at your partnership.
5. There isn’t any intimacy happening anymore
When your partner has one foot out the door, you might want to check for the intimacy between you two, as it could also be out the window. When a significant other has checked out, so has their desire for intimacy. Of course, less sex doesn’t necessarily mean the demise of a relationship—the frequency of sex in the honeymoon stage rarely lasts. However, zero sex can be concerning. Sex can bond you two like no other and if your lover isn’t looking to remain close or get even closer, it will show up in the bedroom as well.
6. They’re distracting themselves from the relationship
The best way to evade a problem is to distract yourself from reality. Therefore, if your loved one isn’t feeling all roses and teddy bears about the relationship, he or she might start distracting himself/herself from the real issue at hand. This could mean your girlfriend is going out at night without you, or your boyfriend started watching the newest season of your guys’ favorite show without waiting for you. Unfortunately, you can only distract for so long.
7. They’re being secretive
Secrets don’t make friends. But they do make for a relationship that might be on the last leg. It’s completely fine to keep some secrets for yourself while being a two-some, but when you feel like your significant other is stocking up on the secrets, then there might be a problem. It’s hard to know when your mate is hiding something, but if suspicious behavior is cropping up, it’s time to ask them about it.
8. They joke too much about leaving you
Sometimes we make jokes about the things we really want to say, but are too afraid to. If your partner keeps making jokes that he or she is going to leave you for another man/woman, it might not be a laughing matter. Your relationship is important to you, and you don’t want to be the punch line. Next time your significant other makes a wisecrack like that, call attention to it and you’ll be all the wiser.