You’re in love!
And it’s a wonderful place to be…usually.
The problem with love is that it can sometimes blind us to the bad behaviors of someone we care about.
It is a common theme in movies, tv shows, and real life!
“Why doesn’t she just leave him? He is a awful person!”
“She has changed so much since dating him. He is such a toxic influence on her.”
“How can you stay with her when she treats you so horribly?”
If you are in a toxic relationship, the first step you need to take is to OPEN YOUR EYES to the possibility that your partner isn’t who you think they are.
Maybe their influence in your life is damaging to you and your other relationships.
Abuse comes in many forms: physical, emotional, psychological, etc.
Below are 13 things you should NEVER tolerate in a relationship.
1.) A PARTNER WHO BELITTLES YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS
There is a big difference between someone giving you “life advice” and someone making you doubt your dreams.
You are suppose to be teammates and each other’s biggest supporters!
On the other hand, if your dreams and goals are unrealistic, your partner should find a way to lovingly point you in the direction of pursuing something more realistic.
If you are dating someone who is always belittling your goals, LOSE THEM!
If your partner criticizes your dreams, but expects you to build up theirs, they are using you.
They may be attempting to change your goals to ultimately help reach their own self-serving goal!
Find a person who is excited for you and pushes you to become your best self. They exist!
Selfishness and self-serving motives destroy the best of relationships.
Related Article: 9 Red Flags to Be Aware of in a New Relationship
2.) A PARTNER WHO CONSTANTLY TALKS OVER YOU AND INTERRUPTS
This is very disrespectful!
No, this isn’t referring to the statement, “We finish each other’s sentences!” This is cute.
This is referring to someone who frequently talks over you, like your opinion doesn’t even matter to them.
Be very careful if you see this habit in your partner. This is one of the signs of a narcissist.
If you think it is just a bad habit that they can work on, talk to them about it ASAP!
Let them know that it makes you feel disrespected and “walked over” when they constantly interrupt you.
Your relationship NEEDS two-way conversations so survive and thrive!
It can become a big problem if it isn’t addressed.
Related Article: 11 Signs You Are in a Relationship with a Narcissist
3.) A PARTNER WHO PRESSURES YOU TO DO THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO DO
Don’t fall for the guilt-tripping!
Perhaps you’re dating someone who is trying to pressure you into a physical relationship.
Maybe they are trying to make you do something that your conscience is telling you NOT to do.
Or maybe they’re trying to pressure you into giving them money for something.
TRUE LOVE does not do any of the things above.
Real love is selfless and wants what is best for the other person.
Manipulation and guilt have NO PLACE in a healthy relationship.
One tactic that is often used is the twisting of your own words to meet their agenda. “But you told me you would! You led me on this whole time!”
Don’t ever let someone play on your kind and sympathetic nature.
Stay firm on your initial decision and keep a clear conscience.
Don’t ever let anyone pressure you into making a mistake that could effect the rest of your life!
Related Article: 9 Things Confident Women Do Differently In Relationships
4.) A PARTNER WHO DISTANCES YOU FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS
This is a classic technique of someone who is controlling, jealous, and insecure.
The reason they want you to get away from your family and friends is because they want to have unlimited access to you.
This way, they can change you into who they want you to be.
Oh yes, they absolutely want to change you!
They will accomplish this by pointing out all the flaws with your friends and family.
You will feel pressured into choosing between them and everyone else.
If you allow them to manipulate your life like this, it will seriously effect your mental health and overall happiness.
Your family and friends are a part of who you are!
Don’t ever let someone take this away from you because of their own toxic personality issues.
Related Article: 13 Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused in Your Relationship
5.) A PARTNER WHO CRITICIZES YOU IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Does your partner use you as the subjects of jokes and criticize you in front of other people?
This can be in person or on social media!
You may laugh or smile on the outside, but your heart is being crushed on the inside. You just want to cry or yell.
How can “the love of your life” not care about what you look like to others?
Unfortunately, this is usually a “get back at you” tactic or a way for them to make sure you know that they are in control of you.
Emotional abuse at its best!
Be careful with this one. This move is extremely narcissistic – and narcissists don’t change!
Related Article: 11 Things Narcissists Say to Manipulate You
6.) A PARTNER WHO WANTS TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP A SECRET
YES, this also means not making it public on social media.
Unless they have a really good reason (like your safety), there isn’t any excuse for wanting to keep your relationship hidden from everyone.
Usually, the reason for this is that they don’t want there to be a big scene when you break up.
They don’t want people asking personal questions about the relationship.
Or maybe they don’t want their hot ex to know they are dating again!
If you want to be in a committed relationship, and they aren’t willing to take this step, there is something wrong!
Don’t make them feel pressured, but absolutely have a serious conversation about it.
You don’t want to waste your time with someone who isn’t 100% in!
Related Article: 11 Signs He’s Not Your Soulmate
7.) A PARTNER WHO IS LAZY
If you’re in a relationship with a lazy-butt, you had better be prepared for a lifetime of hardship!
Do they lack goals and ambition?
Or do they always talk about the great things they want to accomplish, but they never take the steps to even start it?
Do they give up on everything they try?
Perhaps they only want to play video games, watch movies, and laze around. No ambition for anything!
If you are a hard worker with a lot of ambition, you need to be careful because you could end up being someone’s meal ticket!
Your significant other may admire your work ethic for the sole purpose of knowing that you will support them through life!
If you have amazing goals, but you are with someone who’s plan is to float through life with no purpose, you should probably lose them!
Otherwise, you will be choosing a life’s partner who will hold you back, not encourage you properly, not share any of the same goals, and selfishly pick apart your dreams.
8.) A PARTNER WHO TREATS YOU LIKE A CHILD
One word: controlling!
Do they lecture you like you are a child?
When you do something they don’t approve of, do they make you feel small and belittled?
Is isn’t your partner’s place to scold you!
You’re a team – you should have a two-way conversation that is mutually respectful.
Not only does this make them look like a toxic narcissist, it also makes them incredibly unattractive and unfit for the role of “life partner.”
If they are truly your best friend, they’ll will find a caring way to confront something they perceive as a problem in your life.
Related Article: 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Significant Other
9.) A PARTNER WHO COMPARES YOU TO OTHER PEOPLE
“My ex never use to do that.”
“WOW, he/she is hot!”
“My Mom doesn’t do it that way.”
It doesn’t matter if you feel compared directly or indirectly – it is NOT OK!
You do not deserve to be disrespected in this way.
If you stay in this relationship, you’ll notice your self-esteem and self-respect slowly disappear as you starting feeling like you’re not good enough.
Well, you are good enough for someone out there! If your current partner doesn’t see it this way, maybe you should move on.
On the other hand, if you are in a serious relationship, address it immediately!
This is emotionally damaging – something that should have no place in a loving relationship.
Related Article: 7 Things You Should Stop Saying In A Relationship
10.) A PARTNER WHO HAS WANDERING EYES
Are they always checking out everyone else?
Do you catch them giving second and third glances at other people?
They should have eyes for ONLY you!
Some solid advice I was given when dating was as follows: “It isn’t the first look that is wrong, it’s the second one!”
We are human beings. We like looking around and noticing people around us.
It isn’t a bad thing to acknowledge that someone is attractive.
However, it is WRONG to stare, ogle, and check out!
This is incredibly disrespectful to your partner.
As Steve Harvey would say, “Don’t get into the habit of collecting red flags. Before you know it, you’ll have a whole wagon full of them and you’ll still be with the same loser.”
If they’re always checking out other people, there is a 99% chance they have a cheating problem.
Related Article: 9 Early Signs You’re Dating A Cheater
11.) A PARTNER WHO DISRESPECTS THOSE AROUND THEM
It doesn’t matter if they treat you like a King or Queen.
If they treat people around them disrespectfully, this will eventually be you!
When your partner is rude and disrespectful to those around them, this behavior will certainly spill over into your relationship!
Perhaps they are often rude to your server at a restaurant.
Or they always get unnecessarily mad at service people over the phone.
Or maybe they have a tendency to take advantage of people – always for their own benefit.
This is called the “bully mentality”. It makes them feel superior or powerful when they pick on someone who is in a difficult position to defend themselves.
This behavior is pathetic and it needs to be confronted immediately because sooner than later, you will become the target of such behavior.
Related Article: 7 Ways to Know If Your Relationship Is Meant to Last
12.) A PARTNER WHO IS OVERLY-PROTECTIVE OF THEIR PHONE
…this goes for phones, laptops, computers, tablets, etc.
If your partner doesn’t like you picking up their phone or even looking over their shoulder while they are on it…there is most certainly something very suspicious going on.
Unless their phone is for work and you need a security clearance to have any access to it, they shouldn’t get mad at you for picking it up!
Pro Tip: Often, an untrustworthy partner will insist that they are doing something to surprise you or they have private business information on their phone. Although this is occasionally true, it is usually a worthless tactic to convince you to not find the information that they are trying to hide from you.
Related Article: 9 Signs You Can’t Trust Your Partner
13.) A PARTNER WHO GETS JEALOUS – EASILY
This is not talking about the natural instinct to protect the ones you love and make sure the world knows that they are ‘your person’.
This is talking about insecurity issues, manipulation, and trust issues!
Does your partner require constant contact with you?
Do they ask you questions with undertones of severe jealousy?
“Why are you hanging out with them instead of me?”
“Why did you give him a hug goodbye?”
“You didn’t have to eat lunch with her! Isn’t your work relationship getting a bit too close?”
“Did you just text him? You aren’t suppose to text other guys when you are dating me!”
Your partner’s jealousy will seep into every single conversation and interaction.
As they manipulate their way into every area of your life, you will feel this gut-wrenching feeling that your life is being “taken over” by someone you are supposed to love and trust.
This problem is caused by a strong insecurity in your partner. They will act like their insecurity is your problem.
Confront this behavior immediately! And if it does not change, you will need to get therapy or exit the relationship.
- 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Significant Other
- 11 Signs You Are in a Relationship with a Narcissist
- 7 Habits of Couples Who Are Deeply Connected To Each Other
- 11 Signs He’s Not Your Soulmate
- 9 Things Confident Women Do Differently In Relationships